Why Taking Care of Your Mental Health is So Important as a High-Achieving Woman - Part 2
This blog is part 2 of a 4-part series, so make sure to check in May 8th for part three!
Part 1 in this series helped you identify whether or not you actually had time in your schedule to date.
Why Taking Care of Your Mental Health is So Important as a High-Achieving Woman
Welcome back! If you did your homework from my last blog post, then you have a good idea of where your time is going and why you are often so exhausted. When I would do this exercise live with a room full of women at a conference or a retreat, it was always so amazing to see the look of surprise on their faces when they learned just how much of themselves they were giving away to others.
No matter where I hosted this workshop, ALL of the women would pause when it was time to rate the members of their families. The question they would always ask is “should they be rated as #1?” While in their hearts they knew that they should put themselves first, they still got emotional. The faulty programming that we as women have been given, the ideas that we should put our spouses, children and parents before ourselves, that it’s the right thing, the right Christian thing to do, is what was behind their hesitation.
Did you have the same hesitation when it came time to rank your family members? I can’t begin to tell you how much time I spend with my clients on removing the family, societal and church guilt in order for them to finally look out for themselves. The concept that we must do it all, with a smile and put ourselves last is about as old as the black and white television. Those women, while showing up super strong on the outside, were being torn apart on the inside, their spirits completely drained. They had feelings of resentment, anger, guilt, shame, obligation, exhaustion, and a host of others all bundled up inside of a “well put together” external package.
Let’s take a moment to look at a several ways at how NOT taking care of your mental health shows up in your life:
It wreaks havoc on your nervous system
It drains and strangles your spirit
It adds tension in your relationships
It spills over into your professional life
It causes you to overreact in certain situations
It gets in the way of you getting “that bag”
It turns clients away
It causes you to be overcritical
It causes wrinkles
It decreases your sex drive
It increases the level of cortisol in your system creating and inflating your muffin top
It causes you to look to a relationship, flirtation-ship or sex-uationship as a coping mechanism
And this list goes on and on.
How many of those things were you already aware of? If you’re like my client (let’s call her Blane) when she first came to me, you had no idea that NOT taking care of yourself (your mental health) first was actually getting in the way of not only your happiness but your “bag” as well. Blane was reacting to coworkers, clients, employees from a place of depleted energy angry at the world for something that she was not giving to herself.
During our time together, she began to see how she placed too much responsibility on her previous dating partners to figure out how to make her happy and by doing so, she put all of her power in his hands. When he failed, not only did she feel disappointed, but she also felt defeated as though there must be something wrong with her and that she wasn’t worthy of love.
Of course this was not true, the truth of the matter is that as we began to dig a little deeper, we got to the root of her relationship challenges. We did so by analyzing the data, identifying the faulty programming and getting rid of the “bugs.” We proceeded to rewrite the code, reprogram the hard drive and then run updates as needed until she was able to put herself first. Did it shake things up a bit in her life, absolutely, but what happened after was so worth it.
She stopped putting others needs before her own. She learned how to say no, no thank you, no, but thanks for asking ,etc. She identified manipulative behavior in others and even a few narcissists in her life and how to deal with them. She learned how to reprogram her team (as teams typically take on the “energy” of their leader) and she gave herself permission to pursue dating again. This time, fully aware of what her TRUE needs were and how to get them filled.
Blane, just like you, is a high-achieving woman on a mission. She is a strong leader in her community, her company and now…an active participant in her love life. Blane was so busy trying to get paid that she didn’t realize how much she really needed to get laid! Well, I’m happy to report that Blane is now getting both, regularly!!!
Are you ready to uncover the truth about what’s holding you back both personally and professionally? Let’s talk.
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